For the past couple of weeks, there’s been a scandal taking place on this here Internet involving a former reality show competitor, pornography, and the classic question of “is it or isn’t it”: Galilea Montijo.
Months ago, the subject of this query was Antonella Barba of American Idol fame. Antonella Barba was a contestant on American Idol with a voice so bad, even Paula Abdul bemoaned her success. Week after week, Antonella stayed on the show not because of her voice, but because she was hot. Antonella Barba was the first poster child for Votefortheworst.com over Sanjaya, since she had (ahem) less talent than Sanjaya. What made matters worse was a scandal involving Girls Gone Wildesque pictures of Antonella. The controversy was monumental because it was the first time most heterosexual men would call in to vote on American Idol numerous times to keep a contestant on air.
Their hope? If the photos surfacing were getting sluttier by the week, who knows WHAT would eventually pop up.
And pop up they did.
The only problem?
They weren’t Antonella Barba.
Antonella took slutty photos, but the SUPER slutty picks were of someone who looked like her.
The controversy was so bad, even Simon gave her a supporting shout out on air. Whether Simon was one of the heterosexual males who was hoping for more was never confirmed.
Fast forward a few months later and enter Galilea Montijo.
Some people say the ’star’ in the sex tape isn’t Galilea Montijo.
Others say it isn’t even a Mexican, but none other than Monique Fuentes, Colombian porn star:
It’s an outrage.
And it’s the biggest scandal since Brucesploitation: The explosion of Bruce Lee impostors capitalizing on his image after his death to make a buck.
Brucesploitation was worse than Elvis impersonation, because I didn’t waste $5 back in the day watching a phony Elvis in Enter The Game of Death, thinking it was a Bruce Lee movie and getting Bruce Le instead.
It was Bruce K.L. Lea.
Damn you, Bruce K.L. Lea, wherever you are! I was a just a kid and watched your crap movie instead of the Washington Redskins v. Dallas Cowboys football game! Of course, since I missed the game, the Redskins lost and, like every other kid, I thought that the Redskins would lose if I didn’t watch them play.
I blamed myself. And it took me years to realize it wasn’t my fault.
In wake of my little rant, let’s not forget the real victims in scandals involving fakery:
Out there, somewhere, there is a Galilea Montijo fanboy. Although there are plenty of other naked women in pornos he can ogle, he has his mind set on sweet Galilea.
His dreams are crushed.
And a little of us dies as well.
Oh, Adobe photoshop! Curses on your developers for playing your tawdry games!
Where do you stand on celebrity fakes? And were you tricked by Brucesploitation? Which ’sploitation do you have some ’spaining to do?