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Archive for the ‘conspiracies’

GSP = Greasy St. Pierre?

February 22, 2009 By: refrieds Category: conspiracies No Comments →

UFC Welterweight Champ Georges St. Pierre dominated UFC Lightweight Champ BJ Penn at UFC 94. Some attribute it to St. Pierre’s dominant weight advantage. Others believe it’s St. Pierre’s dominant skillz.

Penn thinks it was due to dominant vasoline usage:


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Britney Spears Conspiracy Against Barak Obama

January 04, 2008 By: refrieds Category: conspiracies 2 Comments →

Much has been made about Britney Spears’ whirlwind hospitalization/mental breakdown/attention whoring. It took four hours to get her, loads of cops, and even more paparazzi. Normally, I wouldn’t bat an eye about it. But the timing is odd. Of all the times to get crazy, why pick the morning after Barak Obama’s historic win in Iowa?

Instead of headlines lauding Obama’s brillance, we get posts about Britney’s madness.

Chuck Norris may support Mike Huckabee, Scarlett Johannson may be the new Obama Girl, but Britney Spears works for the man.

Don’t believe me?

Check out the Idolator’s timeline with Spears’ antics occurring when it suits the White House:

November 6, 2006
PRESIDENT BUSH’s Republican party faces one of its most hotly contested elections in years, with 33 Senate seats and 435 House seats up for grabs; meanwhile, BRITNEY SPEARS faces one of her most hotly contested separations in years, announcing her split with Kevin Federline.

April 11, 2006
The Washington Post reports that, thanks to the ceaseless casualties of the Iraq war, PRESIDENT BUSH’s approval ratings have hit an all-time low of 38 percent; meanwhile, the Associated Press reports that, thanks to ceaseless questions from Malibu child-welfare agents, BRITNEY SPEARS’ parenting skills have hit an all-time low.

January 5, 2004
PRESIDENT BUSH attempts to divorce himself from the Valerie Plame scandal, encouraging his staff to talk to investigators; meanwhile, BRITNEY SPEARS attempts to divorce herself from Jason Alexander, discouraging her soon-to-be-ex from talking to the press.

February 15, 2002
PRESIDENT BUSH authorizes a plan to dump 77,000 tons of radioactive waste in a mountain in Nevada, despite local opposition; meanwhile, BRITNEY SPEARS dumps out Crossroads, her first movie.

Coincidence? We think not: Don’t forget that this is the same singer who defended Bush in the last Michael Moore movie, and who was rumored to have been caught “mid-canoodle” with Karl Rove during a 2002 Cirque de Soleil show in Rome. Sometimes she runs–and sometimes she hides–but Spears’ wild-style behavior is always just a few heartbeats away from the presidency.

So forget all the talk about Dr. Phil’s Britney Spears suicide watch, she’s far too valuable for that.

But if she ever is called to pull a Monroe, expect Hell!

Bald Britney Spears

R. Kelly’s Favorite Restaurant

November 15, 2007 By: refrieds Category: conspiracies No Comments →

toilet diner

I was on the verge of retiring from blogging. 

I mean, really, how much time can one heterosexual man spend on Britney Spears?  My most popular posts involved wardrobe malfunctions instead of insightful ruminations on Don Imus and Black Comedy.

Just when I was ready to say goodbye, I came across an article about a restaurant so foul, I couldn’t help but spread the news…

In what has to be the NASTIEST restaurateur move EVER, Taiwan has a Modern Toilet restaurant.  I shit you not…

All 100 seats in the crowded diner are made from toilet bowls, not chairs. Sink faucets and gender-coded “WC” signs appear throughout the three-storey facility, one of 12 in an island-wide chain of eateries.

You have to really wonder about the kind of field research the owners had to do for the menu.  A word to the wise.  If you are ever invited on a date here, whatever you do, don’t go back to the apartment for watersports.

 Ice Cream Poop

I guess if you put sprinkles on it, it wouldn’t be THAT bad…

MTV Wanted Celebrity Deathmatch with Kid Rock and Tommy Lee at VMA

September 14, 2007 By: refrieds Category: conspiracies 3 Comments →

Britney Spears and Kanye West weren’t the only ones set up by MTV for VMA controversy.  By inviting Tommy Lee to the VMA show, Kid Rock got played too:

Well there’s a lot of history there, obviously. It’s just a lot of mouth talking, a lot being extremely disrespectful for a long time. To even be in the same room it’s kinda like, I was trying to figure out why is this whatever, 45 year old man, who’s not involved with the show, who doesn’t have an album coming out, who has nothing to promote, even sitting through this garbage. Like, you know I go to those things because I have my album coming out October 9th you know, and I think it’s the best record I’ve done so I’m trying to promote that.

Catch that?  Kid Rock had to go to the VMAs.  MTV didn’t believe that good music would draw viewers, so they attempted to have a live edition of Celebrity Deathmatch with Kid Rock and Tommy Lee. MTV set his ass up.

What really depresses me is the fact that we never got to see the fight. Why bother going through all that for nothing?

Maybe MTV will get it right next year and invite Pete Doherty and PETA. After the cat crack smoking incident, blood will be spilled!

Did Larry Craig Spike David Boston’s Drink with GHB?

September 11, 2007 By: refrieds Category: conspiracies 6 Comments →

In a bizarre turn of events, Tampa Bay Buccaneers Wide Receiver David Boston was found unconscious in his car with GHB in his system. 

“We are taking the allegations in today’s report released by the Pinellas Park Police Department very seriously and we will continue to review all information as it becomes available,” Bucs general manager Bruce Allen said in a statement. (MSNBC)

GHB leaves people groggy and powerless…even a powerful NFL player like David Boston.

Because he is so buff, some are assuming that David Boston took the drug because of its body building effects. 

boston

But that might not be the whole story. 

GHB is used as a date rape drug as well…and David Boston is a good looking guy.

So maybe there was something else going on.

Does anyone know where Senator Larry Craig was that evening?  After his bathroom antics, threatening cops, and lying about his “wide stance”,  I don’t put anything past him!

Kanye West Was Set Up Too!

September 10, 2007 By: refrieds Category: conspiracies No Comments →

Kanye-West Britney Spears wasn’t the only one set up at the MTV VMA show.

Kanye West hates playing second fiddle.

MTV disses him by having Britney Spears open the show.  He’s pissed and whines to the press.

To make matters worse, he’s told he isnt’ good enough to perform on stage.  Instead, they put him in some suite, dressed like Urkel, where he’s hopping around like he’s some damn performance monkey. 

But it’s cool, because Kanye thinks he’s gonna win.

He doesn’t.

He flips out…TWICE in the press about the awards.

Dying channel needs buzz.

Controversy creates buzz.

MTV = marketing genius.

MTV Set Britney Spears Up

September 10, 2007 By: refrieds Category: conspiracies 10 Comments →

200px-Marion_Barry_smoking_crack When I was in high school, Washington D.C. was the murder capital of the world. 

The mayor, Marion Barry, was a rumored coke fiend. 

Whenever he was on television, no matter how cold it was in the studio, he’d be drenched in a coke sweat.  It was rumored that whenever the cops tried to pull a drug bust, they’d have to call it off, because the mayor was partying with the drug dealers.

Tired of his B.S., the feds wanted to take him down.  So they entrapped him in a hotel room by having an ex girlfriend promise to have sex with him if he smoked some crack.  He wanted to get laid, so he smoked.  And got arrested.  All he could say for the next fifteen minutes was:

“B*tch set me up!” (Washington Post)

The morning after Britney Spears’ horrid MTV VMA performance, we’ve learned that Marion Barry wasn’t the only one set up.  According to Dlisted:

The Palms Casino also reportedly axed Britney’s planned magic crap with Criss Angel for insurance purposes. Britney was supposed to disappear and re-appear through several floating mirrors, but the Casino found it too risky.

That’s the reason why she was so flabby.  She thought magic and mirrors would hide her weight and loss of skills. 

She was upset, but a professional.  As she got ready to perform, MTV told her that Sarah Silverman would be making jokes about her kids.

Surely Britney remembers what Silverman said about Paris Hilton months ago.  She probably regretted telling the nanny to have her kids watch mama perform on t.v. 

MTV knew that people would be watching and wanting a train wreck.  And they got one.

Before you pooh-pooh the conspiracy, here’s one glaring fact:

Ratings have been sinking steadily since 2001, when the show peaked with nearly 12 million viewers. Last year, the VMAs drew 5.8 million viewers, its smallest audience in 10 years.

Let this be a warning to celebrities who are approached by MTV to perform on next year’s VMA show: 

They might make you next year’s Britney Spears!

Britneyshock

Who Betrayed Vanessa Hudgens?

September 07, 2007 By: refrieds Category: conspiracies 1 Comment →

Mafia movies had it right.  If someone is gonna get you, it won’t be a stranger.

Noelia’s stepfather allegedly leaked her porno cell camera video. 

Johanna Cardona’s ex-boyfriend Oscar Crespo leaked their sex video.

So who leaked High School Musical’s Vanessa Hudgens naked photos allegedly shot for “boyfriend”  Zac Efron?

Is this Zac’s attempt to out himself…by publicly rejecting the photos she made for him?

Or is Vanessa trying to “prove” that Zac is straight because by producing a nude photo she took for him?

I believe it’s neither.

Vanessa Hudgens betrayed herself by pulling a Jessica Biel AKA showing she’s ready for adult roles by engaging in borderline porn. 

Now if only Zac Efron can move on and make up his mind.

Is he the next Lindsay Lohan

weirdalikes4

Or the next Clay Aiken

clay zac

Black Comedy on Life Support

September 05, 2007 By: refrieds Category: conspiracies 4 Comments →

Months ago, I warned that CBS firing Don Imus over racially insensitive comments would produce a butterfly effect which would ripple through black comedy…ultimately killing it.

First, Hot Ghetto Mess was so scared of losing more sponsors, it changed its name to We Got To Do Better and adopted a preachy, self-empowerment motif, destroying any redeeming comedic value.

Now, it’s Eddie Griffin.

griffin

According to TMZ, after Griffin did a Michael Richards impression, he asked:

“Why are some black leaders telling us to stop using the N word?” Griffin’s mike was promptly cut, and Black Enterprise owner/publisher Earl Graves stomped on stage and proclaimed, “We … will not allow our culture to go backwards … We will pay Mr. Griffin all that we owe him but we will not allow him to finish the show if that’s the way he’s going to talk.”

How can Eddie Griffin replace the $1.5 Million Ferrari he crashed in March if he can’t make a living as a comedian?

I give black comedy another 8 months before it goes the way of Polish jokes.  

Negrodamus Predicts Celebrity Copycats for MSNBC?

August 30, 2007 By: refrieds Category: conspiracies No Comments →

Negrodamus Negrodamus has been out of work since Chappelle Show was canceled, but I think he’s working for MSNBC.  Hours after reporting fears of high profile celebrity catastrophes spurring copycat behavior, a flurry of copycat celebrity behavior emerged:

Rapper Lil’ Wayne, not to be outdone by T.I.’s bid to enter the Top 5 concerts that will scar you for life, caused a 17 year old girl to get trampled after he tried to ”make it rain” during his show. For the ghetto impaired, making it rain means throwing dollars on the crowd, not peeing on them.

Remember the story about Oscar Crespo attempting to be the worst boyfriend ever by recording girlfriend Johanna Cardona doing the nasty on his cell phone, threatening to blackmail her if she left him, and then “leaking” the video on-line? 

Apparently, singer Cristian Castro raised the stakes and wants you to seriously consider him for worst husband of all time.  Lossip tells us that he’s divorcing his pregnant wife Valeria Liberman after cheating on her with a stewardess, letting his fans determine the baby’s name, and talking about her like a dog in the press. 

He certainly has my vote!

Just the other day, we found out that Owen Wilson slit his wrists due to depression and drug usage.  Hours later, we learned Amy Winehouse’s dad considered killing himself because he was depressed over his daughter’s drug usage. 

I’m depressed after seeing  this now and then photo of her:

winehouse buxom 

And in the weirdest twist of fate,  Senator Larry Craig, after being caught trying to get some dong in the men’s room airport claims he’s not gay.  Which is highly reminiscent of  Christian minister  Ted Haggard protesting too much after getting busted for a crystal meth inspired sex romp!

So is the timing of the MSNBC story coincidence, or is it Negrodamus? 

If it’s Negrodamus, I hope he starts reporting on the NFL soon. My fantasy football draft is right around the corner, and I need all the prognostication I can get!