Refried Screens

No one has profited more from a death than Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs.  He released a multi-platinum solo album after the Notorius B.I.G. was murdered, and his very questionable rapping skills were not up to question or dissing…since Diddy was “doing it” for Biggie.  Not only that, he was able to win two Grammy awards, hook up with J. Lo, and launch a successful clothing line.  All because of Biggie’s death. 

But that isn’t the end of it:

James Sabatino, A former associate of Sean “Diddy” Combs has filed a lawsuit from prison against the hip-hop mogul, claiming Combs owes him more than $19 million for music by the late rapper Notorious B.I.G. in the mid-nineties.

The weird thing about the story isn’t that a guy from prison is trying to shake Diddy down for dollars, it’s this tidbit:

Sabatino was named a person of interest in the case, as he was supposed to meet with B.I.G. the night of the shooting, but never showed up. He was later sent to prison on unrelated charges.Combs gave Sabatino a check for $25,000, but never paid the rest because he thought it would look inappropriate paying a person of interest in the B.I.G. killing, the lawsuit alleges.

That’s the best excuse EVER for not paying a dude:  “Sorry, homie, if I paid you, people would think I got Biggie killed.  You know I’m good for the money, but out of respect for Biggie, I just can’t.”

Somebody needs to put Diddy’s abuse to an end. Biggie’s been dead for thirteen years, after all!

If Voodoo can bring Biggie back from the dead, let’s hope he uses the opportunity for some well deserved zombie revenge, instead of wasting it on getting some weed and tail like Captain America did last April.

Hannah Montana is a kids television show involving a girl who lives a double life as an average teenage girl at school during the day and a famous pop singer, Hannah Montana, at night, concealing her real identity from the public other than her close friends and family.

A show about deception for kids might not seem too bad, since every superhero engages in deception to hide his secret identity. 

But the difference between Hannah Montana and a superhero like Spiderman is simple:

Spidey don’t rip people off:

Arkansas said on Thursday it is probing the online ticket sales for pop idol Hannah Montana’s upcoming U.S. tour, whose prices have shot above those of superstars the Police and Bruce Springsteen…Ticketmaster spokesman Joe Freeman said this had been a case of extraordinary demand “as well as some inappropriate and arguably illegal activity.”

First Baby Einstein makes kids dumb and now Hannah Montana is a thief? 

Kids entertainment ain’t what it used to be.

At a recent Jennifer Lopez concert, a fan blew the side of her top all the way up for a moment, revealing what observers believed to be a definitive baby bump:

“She was very quick to push down her top. Then she talked about how this year is full of firsts for her . . . and every so often her dress would fly up and you would see her belly.”

A number of sites have followed up on the story and are reporting that Jennifer Lopez’ wardrobe malfunction reveals she’s pregnant. 

I disagree.

Flashing her belly was not her passive aggressive way of telling the world she’s pregnant, without actually telling the world she’s pregnant.

The wardrobe malfunction was a sign that she was suffering from bloating and indigestion because of too much KFC at her VIP party:

“We would like to offer you, your entourage and a few VIP guests an ‘all access’ pass to the KFC location of your choice,” KFC President Gregg Dedrick wrote in an open letter to J.Lo and Marc Anthony.  “You have a bucketful of choices for ‘after party’ locations because KFC has more than 5,500 restaurants across the country. Hearing about your fondness for KFC was music to our ears, so just name the time and the place and we’ll open our doors to you for a post-concert feast.”

She probably couldn’t wait until after the show to chow down, and learned the hard way that KFC is not good pre-concert food.

Look at her ‘calling’ her roadies to hook up the Tums for the next wardrobe change…

Next time, stick to the veggie plate in your concert rider, J. Lo.  You’ll do a hell of a lot better!

Beyonce is having a horrible 2007.

As if burning fans in St. Louis, falling down the stairs in Orlando, and having a wardrobe malfunction in Toronto wasn’t enough, now she’s being sued for stealing lyrics in Lubbock, Texas:

A Minnesota woman who sued Beyonce Knowles alleging the singer illegally used her lyrics on the hit song “Baby Boy” took her case to a federal appeals court Wednesday. Jennifer Armour of Shakopee, Minn., claims Knowles took the lyrics from her song, “Got a Little Bit of Love For You.”

And you thought Avril Lavinge was the only lyric thief in the biz.

This isn’t the first time Beyonce’s been called a cheat:

“Neyo did an interview where he confirms he is the writer of Beyonce’s hit Irreplaceable. When asked whether she helped him write even a little bit he say NO! He wrote ALL the lyrics to the song and the only thing Beyonce did was help with a few melodies.”

With all of this bad luck, I guess that Destiny’s Child curse is still in effect.

Maybe she knew what she was doing by canceling the Malaysian caning tour after all…

According to Mediatakeout, Beyonce has canceled her Malaysia concert for fear of being caned:

“It’s not worth it. We have to worry about the safety of [Beyonce] over everything … It’s just sad that her [Malaysian] fans won’t get to see her perform.”

This news comes weeks after Beyonce’s wardrobe malfunction spurred Malaysian government officials to issue a stern warning against any bootylicious hijinks during her upcoming concert.

Beyonce’s cancellation is a slap in the face to her Malaysian supporters. 

Even worse, the fact that she would cancel her tour after coming this close to a caning is the ultimate insult not only to Beyonce haters, but her S&M fans as well.

And for that, she should be ashamed of herself.

Fresh from their lawsuit with former member Don Felder, The Eagles will release their first full studio album since 1979.  And then they’ll tour afterwards.

The Eagles - Henley, Glenn Frey, Joe Walsh and Timothy B. Schmit - have sold more than 120 million albums worldwide, earning five No. 1 U.S. singles and four Grammy Awards. Their “Greatest Hits 1971-1975″ is the best-selling album of all time, exceeding sales of 29 million units.

That’s a lot of records sold.  And we have to assume that there are a lot of people who have been waiting for this moment for years. 

Well, at least some people:

That’s right, The Dude does not abide the reunion. 

In fact, that should be the Warning Label attached to every godforsaken Eagles ticket sold.

I don’t know about you, but I would take comfort in that. Especially when he’s out there. The Dude. Takin’ ‘er easy for all us sinners.

The big buzz this morning involves whether or not a sex tape circulating online actually features The White Stripes drummer Meg White.

Her reps say it isn’t, other folks think it is. 

Fleshbot theorizes that the sex tape is the source of her anxiety which resulted in The White Stripes tour cancellation.

The tape is extremely NSFW and you can find it and Fleshbot’s analysis here.

Is it Meg White or isn’t it? 

I don’t know, but I do know that Oscar De La Hoya is loving it.

He finally has a celebrity controversy which trumps his fishnet fiasco!

If you’ve seen the Florida Student tasered during the John Kerry speech, you’ll love the Remix video to MC Hammer’s Can’t Touch This

Who knew tasering could produce such a catchy tune?

Patti LaBelle tried to involve a fan in her Kansas City, MO show and how did he pay her back?  By clowning her.  But he picked the wrong diva to mess with (see the video here).

Sucka should’ve understood the golden rule: If Patti LaBelle wants to make fun of you, take your lumps like a man and shut up.  She don’t take kindly to back talk!

Of all the rock reunions, the Sex Pistols concert is the one which makes the most sense. 

The Sex Pistols were all about anger and frustration, and the only thing angstier than a punk nihilist kid is a miserable old fart.  

Johnny Rotten never did no gymnastics, so he’s not likely to embarrass himself like David Lee Roth.  He wasn’t a yoga touting sex symbol who pranced around the stage, so we don’t have to worry about Sting-like deterioration. 

The Sex Pistols sounded like crap, could barely play their instruments, and just released one studio album.  Sid Vicious was so bad, they used to unplug his bass guitar, so whoever replaces him will make the group respectable…which is TOTALLY against the spirit of punk.  And it deserves an artist warning label.

If you’re wondering if the concert is worth it, imagine this:  A sea of baldheaded  geezers pathetically trying to rock the Mohawk and needing medical attention trying to do the pogo! That alone guarantees prime entertainment value.