Refried Screens

Must see video which breaks down the New England Patriots cheating scandal right here.

He’s right! Once a cheater, always a cheater. Just ask Gisele Bundchen and Bridget Moynahan!

Atlanta Falcons Quarterback Michael Vick kills dogs.  He gets suspended.

Dallas Cowboys Assistant Coach Wade Wilson uses HGH to combat his impotence.  He gets suspended.

New England Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick cheats by illegally videotaping his opponents.  He doesn’t get suspended.

Whether or not you like Michael Vick, his behavior off field has absolutely nothing to do with his job as a NFL quarterback. 

Poor Wade Wilson wanted to make sweet love to his wife.  Who cares if he used performance enhancing drugs?  He doesn’t play football!

Belichick cheated to win.  His crime directly affects his job performance. If he was so desperate to cheat against the New York Jets in a season opener, you can’t honestly believe he didn’t cheat his way into winning Superbowls.

Fortunately, Wilson is white, so you can’t call the race card.  What you can call, however, is BULLSHIT.  And that’s what I call with the NFL’s punk-ass, abortion of a punishment.

The NFL should take some of Wade Wilson’s HGH and get the sack to stand up to Belichick.

That is, unless, with all of Belichick’s hidden video tricks, he has a footage of NFL Officials doing goats after the league’s annual Christmas party.

In wake of Sports Illustrated’s expose on WWE wrestlers on steroids, the WWE has suspended 10 wrestlers who used an online pharmacy to procure steroids.

Some of the guys make sense, since they look like they got their money’s worth:

But there’s one guy who didn’t seem to get the same results as the others…

Maybe he had an allergic reaction or a mixed up order. He not only deserves a refund, they should throw in some free Slim Fast.

With the first pick for NBC Sunday Night Football, the NFL selected Faith Hill to create an anthem for the show.

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell cracks down on lawbreaking players like Michael Vick and Pacman Jones. So is it any surprise that Faith Hill was selected after showing her own disdain for illegality when she took down a pervert who grabbed hubby Tim McGraw’s privates?

By avoiding an embarrassing trial, Michael Vick isn’t just giving television stations, newspapers, and websites set to make millions from trial coverage the middle finger.

Michael Vick is giving the fans the middle finger…AGAIN!

He admits guilt, but so what? Without a trial, how else are we to spend our time? Reading books? Saving the planet? Following the 2008 Elections?

Booring…

I want my trial.

Without it, I feel empty. 

Like having to eat a bowl of cornflakes with water, because my brother drank all the milk.

The NY Post broke a story that an NBA ref was fixing basketball games. It doesn’t surprise me, since I heard it before from a guy who believed all sports were fixed. He never got over Villanova beating Georgetown, The Chicago Bulls dynasty, or the Bad News Bears. For a while, I could see his point, but I moved on.

Now that the fix has been confirmed, fans are seeing it everywhere:

The fix is something that can make you crazy, like the humans on Battlestar Galactica who believe everyone is a cylon agent (robots posing as humans). Soon, you’ll be seeing the fix everywhere, and it will ruin sports for some, much like these guys who ruined Harry Potter for everyone.

And it’s going to get worse.

A co-worker from Singapore would always talk about fixes in soccer matches. Whenever a player performed poorly, the crowd would scream: “FIX!”, forcing the embarrassed coach to pull the player from the game. Immediately afterwards, the player would hold a press conference and talk about their strong beliefs in family and religion.

I don’t know about you, but if U.S. athletes had to consistently defend themselves from the fix, I’d TIVO post-game press conferences in a heartbeat.

After reading ESPN’s fix article, I was amazed at how easy it would be to fix a game:

ESPN.com: Given your expertise in watching and wagering on games, what influence does a referee or official have in the gambling outcome?

BL: If he has action on the game and wants something in particular to happen, I’d say 75 percent. I’ve been asked for years if games could be fixed. And I always told people not by players. Because the guys in the key positions who could get something done, your quarterbacks and running backs, are making millions and aren’t going to risk it all to help some friend make $100,000. An official, though, could do it.

I’ve actually seen a couple of fixed fights in the world of MMA. Japanese fighter Nobuhiko Takada’s matches were fixed.

Because he was bringing in so much money as a Japanese fighting stud in a Japanese market, Pride FC company executives didn’t wan’t to run any risk of him losing. As a matter of fact, his fixed fights were better to watch than his real ones, where he’d spend the entire time in a defensive position, scared to get knocked out. Don’t believe me? Watch the Mark Coleman v. Takada fixed fight and then the Mirko CroCop v. Takada real fight and holla back.

When current UFC Champ Quinton Jackson fought for Pride FC, some folks wanted his black ass to throw a fight against Japanese star Kazushi Sakuraba. Jackson refused and Sakuraba beat him legit.

And I cried.

This runs in sharp contrast to the UFC, which doesn’t fix fights in a continued attempt to gain legitimacy. After all, it hasn’t been long since folks considered it human cockfighting, which I could never understand, since I’ve never seen a penis in a UFC bout…thank goodness!

As far as I’m concerned, I could care less if all sports were fixed. Movies are fake, but so what? They destroy documentary movies. Consistently. I’ll take a good zombie flick over Red Hot Ballroom in a red hot minute.

If the fix happened to be on, we’d never know for one simple fact:

People choke.

And you can’t tell the difference between a guy having a bad day versus a player who is on the fix. And even if we did, this guy here pretty much sums it up for me:

I hear you, man. Fixed sports are still real to me, too!

It was Friday the 13th, so something strange was bound to happen.

In a bizarre turn of events, Finland javelin thrower Tero Pitkamakia speared French long jumper Salim Sdiri during the IAAF Golden League meeting in Rome on Friday. Salim was crouching in the warm-up area when a wild throw from Pitkamaki hit him in the upper body.

Check it out:

Also here.

According to the BBC, he was rushed to hospital but his injury was not serious and he returned to his hotel room early on Saturday. And this international incident didn’t spark a war between Finland and France, but that doesn’t mean that Finnish javelin thrower Tero Pitkamakia shouldn’t watch his back.

Just when you thought things couldn’t get wilder than the DS Taiko commercial, check out this pitch:

The batter is totally pwned!

There are a few truths in life:

Don’t spit in the wind
Don’t tug on Superman’s cape
And sure as hell don’t appear on the cover of Madden!

Tennessee Titans phenom Quarterback Vince Young, known for throwing caution to the wind as a gutsy, balls-to-the-wall player, is tempting fate by gracing the cover of EA Sports Madden 2008 Football Video Game.

For the last nine years, being on the cover of Madden has results in big bucks and big injuries:

Young has no chance, huh?

USC was supposed to crush Texas (Young’s team) in the Rose Bowl. Young responded by giving one of the greatest performances in college history and winning the game.

Young was supposed to be too dumb to play pro football. Young responded by engineering a six game win streak as a rookie, winning the offensive rookie of the year award and being selected to the pro bowl.

Will Young continue this trend and break the curse? His agent thinks so:

“We don’t believe in no jinx,” agent Major Adams said. “People said when they put Vince on the cover of Sports Illustrated (that) it was going to jinx him in the Rose Bowl game, and (Texas) won the national championship. “We don’t believe in stuff like that. In the unfortunate event he gets hurt, it is just a part of the game, not because you have the cover.”

As for me? Will I draft Vince Young, a man who has EXCEEDED all expectations, a man who has DEFIED convention, a man who has SPIT in the wind and pimpslapped Superman? Will I draft this man to my fantasy football team?

HELLS NO!
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Will you draft Vince? What do you think about the Madden curse?