Refried Screens

Last week we witnessed an unprecedented assault on those who fantasize about Jessica Alba.

First we learned  from Lossip that she’s all makeup:

Then we heard from LA Rag Mag that she might have the burn, which makes sense considering her love of one night stands. 

Apparently, it’s a risk a number of fans would gladly take, although the following poster represents the realistic level of intimacy one is likely to have with Ms. Alba:

Can you get herpes from glopping off over pictures on your computer? I’m not sure these days? If you can I’m in trouble. I think we need a concert to raise awareness of these issues. Elton John, Bono and sundry other c**** who’ve already had their fun and now don’t want you to have yours can get involved. It’ll be, like, rilly spiritual.

Strangely enough, the LA Rag Mag story link was down, which means Alba’s lawyers are probably pulling a Playboy on them to restore balance to the universe.

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