Lindsay Lohan Is Boogeyhoochie
As I’ve noted before, there is a need for Modern Morality Fables. And what is a fable without monsters?
Perseus had Medusa.
Odysseus had the sirens.
Single black women have white women.
In the 21st Century, we have our own creature which appears in the form of a woman with a crimson mane, speckled skin, and flaring nostrils prone to snort white powder.
Our creature tends to frequent areas where young men abide: the beach, nightclubs, stripclubs. It endlessly wanders the Earth in search of attention. Unsuspecting males might spy it dancing or sunbathing. It might appear in a traffic accident or two. Such encounters could be dangerous, bringing dumbness, besotted infatuation, madness or incarceration to the unfortunate human.
She is known as “Boogeyhoochie”.
She comes from Long Island and she loves knives.
You might have seen her before, under her human alias “Lindsay Lohan”:
The Boogeyhoochie scares everyone.
Parents fear their daughters and gay sons will mimic its behavior. Others fear their sons might date her and their unLindsay-like daughters might be a passenger in a car she’s driving.
Children of all ages, BEWARE!
Fear the Boogeyhoochie!
As Arts and Entertainment Aficionados, we have always had a different take on Pop Culture matters and enjoy venturing into the absurd. Please join us on our journey as we delve into Refried Screens.
August 2nd, 2007 at 12:14 am
I fear the blonde more than the redhead. The blonde isn’t quite as crazy and has made a career out of magically appearing in places.
August 2nd, 2007 at 6:15 pm
I actually fear Hulk Hogan’s orange tan.