Weirdest Celebrity Beauty Secrets
Everyone wants to be a star, but do they have what it takes to look good?
I’m not talking about facial scrubs, drinking water, or any other gauche methods.
I’m talking black sheep embryos, snake venom, and leftover baby milk.
Without further ado, here are the Weirdest Celebrity Beauty Secrets in ascending order:
Marylin Manson thinks he’s all scary, but he’s just dirty.
He never removes his trademark white foundation, thick black eye-shadow and bright red lipstick, preferring to just add to it each morning. Big whoop. That’s nasty, but it isn’t evil. If you want to see the face of celebrity evil, read on.
Christina Aguilera may think slathering natural yogurt all over her body is a beauty secret, others think it’s foreplay.
All you mothers out there can follow Cindy Crawford’s secret: a regular dose of “leftover milk from her kids’ bottles and equal parts mineral water,” applied with a spray bottle.
Don’t let that milk go to waste!
Speaking of waste, don’t throw out that old wine either! Be like Teri Hatcher and bathe in it:
“When you’re alone you open a bottle of wine and then it’s not really good after four or five days…Never throw it out, dump it in your bath.”
I always wondered why she looked so drunk all the time.
Catherine Zeta Jones used to wash her hair in beer to make it shine.
“I used to stink for days.”
But you can’t argue with the results.
Ashlee Simpson treats her sliced nose with wax toilet seat covers. It’s uncertain whether she prefers used or new covers. But something tells me that it’s probably soiled covers from Pete Wentz’ sweaty ass.
Debbie Harry stayed true to her tough chick rep by getting injections of black sheep embryos. Apparently mad cow’s disease put the kibosh on that, so she apparently uses HGH. Isn’t that what Chris Benoit used too?
If so, Blondie members better think twice if she calls up for a reunion.
Gwyneth Paltrow, I’m on to you! You use snake venom. You named your kid Apple. Marilyn Manson isn’t the anti-Christ, you are!
Manson may buy skeletons of dead Chinese girls and masks made of human skin, but he don’t put it on his face! Gwynnie is more hardcore…and evil.
We don’t know the long term effects of these secrets, but one woman who has looked good for the longest has a secret that is cheaper, and less smelly than any of these:
“Everything you see, I owe to spaghetti.”
That’s right. Sophia Loren’s beauty secret is pasta. Also, taking baths in virgin olive oil.
You can’t argue with those results.
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What is the weirdest beauty secret you’ve heard of…or used yourself?
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