Refried Screens

Every couple of years, some poor underage girl becomes the obsession of the media and perverts just because she’s jailbait. 

It happened to the Olsen Twins, Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan.

The problem faced by the young women is what to do once they become legal.

The answer?

Go psycho.

Unfortunately, that’s just what happened with jailbait flavor of the month, Heroes’ Hayden Panettiere. 

Her psychosis, spurred by fulfilling cosplay cheerleader fetishes, has resulted in her threatening to kill some poor magazine employee:

(I)t was the unbreakable Hayden Panettiere who threatened to “kill” a staffer from Us Weekly over something she wrote about her in a recent issue. (Sources have since confirmed that it was this item that had HP’s barely legal panties in a bunch.) Just when it looked like Hayden was about to pull a Sylar on said reporter’s skull, her quick-thinking publicist grabbed her and scolded, “Not on the red carpet.” It was a classic Hollywood moment — and one I predict will be streaming all over the Internet by week’s end.

Whether Hayden is the next Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan is moot.

Hollywood is already grooming her replacement since Hayden Panettiere is now, after all, legal. 

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