Refried Screens

According to People, Isaiah Washington is so upset about being fired from Grey’s Anatomy, he’s speaking in 3rd person:

“I hope that everyone is happy for the outcome for Isaiah, but Isaiah will go on and do what I love to do.”

The act of referring to oneself in 3rd person is also known as an Illeism.

If Isaiah decides to continue down this path, he’ll be in great company.

How great?

I’ve created a list of the TOP 5 ILLEISMATICS OF ALL TIME:

5. JIMMY from Seinfeld
Jimmy only spoke illeistically ( “Jimmy’s down! Jimmy’s got a compound fracture! Jimmy’s gonna get you, Kramer! Jimmy holds grudges!”) and it was CONTAGIOUS:

• Jerry: I don’t know how you can eat that spicy chicken.
• George: George likes spicy chicken.
• Jerry: What’s that?
• George: I like spicy chicken.
• Jerry: No, no you said “GEORGE likes spicy chicken”.
• George: No I didn’t!
• Elaine: Yes you did. You said “George likes spicy chicken”.
• Jerry: You’re turning into Jimmy!
• George: (irritated) George is getting upset!!

4. THE ROCK
The Rock, when he was rasslin’, would engage in illeisms “The Great One”, “The Brahma Bull”, “The People’s Champion” before, during, and after he would “Layeth The Smacketh Down” on your candy ass. He would also utter an illeistic phrase “If you smell… what the Rock is cookin’!” after every promo for 5 years. He even had a best selling book entitled…what else? “The Rock Says…“

3. ELMO

“Lala-lala lala-lala Elmo’s song. Lala-lala lala-lala Elmo’s song. Me write the music, me write the words, that’s Elmo’s song.”


Neither Dobby, of Harry Potter fame, nor Superman’s nemesis Bizarro, can hold a candle to Elmo.

Elmo is an icon. Elmo influences preschoolers all over the world who want to be just like him. But there’s a problem:

Elmo speaks in 3rd person.

Parents, who thought Sesame Street was a wholesome show which supported early education, fear that their children’s grammatical abilities will be forever tainted by this little red monster…yet there is nothing they can do about it! And you thought Bert was Sesame Street’s resident badass?

2. RICKEY HENDERSON
Baseball great Rickey Henderson wanted a trade, so he called San Diego GM Kevin Towers and left the following message: “This is Rickey calling on behalf of Rickey. Rickey wants to play baseball.”

Also, according to therandomburrito, before every game he played, Rickey stood completely naked in front of a full length locker room mirror and chanted, “Rickey’s the best,” for several minutes.

Why is he higher than Elmo? Elmo inspires fear. Rickey inspires hate, loating, and a grammy nominated comedy album, which is more than Elmo can say about what Elmo inspires.

1. DR. DOOM
Nobody does it better. He, I mean Doom, puts the “ill” in illeism. Doom’s been doing it for 45 years, and what sets him on a different level than punks like Dobby or wannabe’s like Elmo? He has robots masquerading as Doom called “Doombots”. Doom > Rickey because Rickey don’t have robots…although I hear he’s working on that…

Plus, Doom is a certified megalomaniac dictator to the country he rules, Latervia, and to the kid he adopted, Kristoff:

In your FACE, Rickey!

Isaiah Washington can learn a lot from Dr. Doom…
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Who do you think is the Illest Illeismatic?