Refried Screens

In a rare moment of journalistic integrity, the AP reports that US Magazine will ignore Paris Hilton in this week’s edition of the magazine. Three things immediately come to mind:

First, is US Magazine trying to drive Paris really crazy by not reporting on her? She was supposed to be in dire straits while imprisoned. Who knows how Paris Hilton will react if other media outlets also boycott her.

Second, I love the pimpslap US Magazine is giving to the ‘mainstream’ press by claiming that Paris Hilton isn’t newsworthy…after the mainstream press caved in to gossipmongering. It’s like they’re saying ‘go ahead and cover Paris, if you THINK it’s news. We don’t. Suri Cruise? Now that’s news.’ All of the major news outlets must feel pretty slimy taking US Magazine’s rejected scrap of a story (I know I do, and I’m just a blog writer!).

Third, isn’t US Magazine’s announcement that it won’t spend any time on Paris actually spending time on Paris? It kind of reminds me of Fast Times At Ridgemont High, when Mr. Hand chastised Spicoli for wasting his time in class. Spicoli responded a few days later by ordering pizza in class, and Mr. Hand was incensed over Spicoli wasting his time again. Spicoli responded:

“I was thinking about it Mr. Hand, and if I’m here and you’re here, isn’t it OUR time?”

Mr. Hand acted like he agreed with Spicoli’s communist ’sharing’ and showed him how socialism really works by seizing Spicoli’s pizza and ’sharing’ it with the rest of the class. Mr. Hand didn’t let Spicoli get a slice until good old Mr. Hand took the biggest piece for himself and wolfed it down right in Spicoli’s face!

If only US Magazine could do the same to Paris Hilton, balance would be restored to the universe.

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