Refried Screens

Van Halen is reuniting and touring with David Lee Roth in the fall.

Can you think of any band more deserving of an Artist Expiration Date and Warning?

The Police and Lauryn Hill couldn’t bring back the magic of days gone by, so would I even bother to waste my hard earned cash on a ticket to see a feuding, over the hill, bald ass, fresh from rehab group who drove Valerie Bertinelli into a poster child for Slim Fast?

Oh, HELL-TO-THE-YEAH!

David Lee Roth trying to do a jumping split like it’s 1984 and getting into a hissy fit with Eddie Van Halen who could relapse at any minute given the stress?

Waiting for Michael Anthony to crack Alex upside the head with his custom made Jack Daniel’s bass during a drawn out drum solo?

You know Sammy Hagar’s gonna reject an offer to finish the tour once the inevitable meltdown occurs. At that point, the remaining band members, having gone through Diamond Dave and Sammy, will have no choice but to call on one man to bail them out…

Gary Cherone, former besmirched frontman replacement for Sammy and Dave.

He will have his revenge and finally do what he was born to do:

Sing Jump to sold out arenas.

Who says dreams can’t come true?

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