Refried Screens

Christian Bale AKA Batman raised quite a stir with news reports that he was arrested for abusing his mamma.  Contrary to popular notions, it has nothing to do with fame or money. 

It has everything to do with method acting. 

Heath Ledger lost his life trying to become the Joker, even though Jack Nicholson warned him:

Heath Ledger thought landing the demanding role of the Joker was a dream come true - but now some think it was a nightmare that led to his tragic death.  Jack Nicholson, who played the Joker in 1989 - and who was furious he wasn’t consulted about the creepy role - offered a cryptic comment when told Ledger was dead. 

“Well,” Nicholson told reporters in London early Wednesday, “I warned him.”

What does this have to do with Christian Bale?

Everything.

Bruce Wayne is an orphan.

Christian Bale got so wrapped up in his character, he subconsciously is trying to become one.

I’d like to retract my earlier statement.  I don’t blame method acting.

I blame Adam West.

Where was he when Christian Bale needed him the most?

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In wake of Jesse Jackson’s proclamation against Barack Obama, there is one man who can make a difference to ensure the safety of the Democratic nominee: Fedor Emelianenko.

Unlike Kimbo Slice, Fedor doesn’t knock out bums. He destroys world champion Ultimate Fighters. Take a look at what he did to Tim Sylvia, a guy who held the UFC Heavyweight belt longer than anyone else in UFC history:

With Fedor protecting Obama, Jesse needs to fear for his own nuts sake!

After MLK’s assassination, Jesse Jackson hit the talk show circuit wearing a shirt with King’s blood on it. Jesse claimed the fact that King’s blood splashed his shirt meant he was “anointed” by Martin to continue MLK’s legacy.

Pretty weird.

But not as weird as Jesse Jackson’s desire to possess Barack Obama’s nuts:

What plans did Jesse Jackson have for Obama’s nuts after he cut them off?

Would Jesse Jackson use Obama’s nuts as a hood ornament? Perhaps Jesse Jackson would replace his rear view mirror fuzzy dice with Obama’s testicles. Or he’d wear them around his neck like an Africa medallion.

How would Jesse pimp Obama’s balls, anyway? As a means to take the Democratic nomination? Blackmail for the V.P. slot? Maybe he’s thinks Obama’s family jewels is the key to getting with Scarlett Johansson. She is Obama’s pen pal after all…

No, my friends, Jesse Jackson’s obsession with Barack Obama’s cojones will remain a mystery likely never to be solved.

And maybe it’s better for America that it stays that way. It sure as hell would be better for Barack Obama. Lord knows he don’t need no Jesse Jackson copycat nut jobs…

The Game loves him some retro hip hop. So much so, he tried a 21st Century KRS-One “Stop The Violence/Self-Destruction” project involving the Sean Bell murder.

Problem is, there’s no money in it. And he learned the hard way that we’re not all in the same gang after all.

And it not only made The Game cry, it made him quit hip-hop…

Inside of us, we both know you belong with hip-hop. You’re part of H.E.R. work, the thing that keeps H.E.R. going. If you’re not with H.E.R., you’ll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life. Forget these sucka MCs, you’ll always have Paris.

In fact, he might be available for the posse cut!

Give that brotha a ring!

Apparently, Memin Pinguin isn’t racist, although he’s a black kid drawn like a monkey, which would be cool if the blonde and brunette kids were drawn as monkeys too. But they’re not. They’re drawn like, well…human kids:

If Memin Pinguin fostered great racial understanding, why isn’t Obama rocking the Latino vote?

Take a look at this dude:

He claims black folks just don’t get Memin Pinguin. But if that’s the case what’s with all that moyo stuff?

If Memin Pinguin is so beloved as an icon for racial understanding, maybe the Obama campaign would have greater luck attracting Latino voters if they replaced Curious George with Memin Pinguin…

Nah, we don’t think so either…

We thought the brotha was dead. But we guess not. This dude’s performance on “Martin Lawrence Presents 1st Amendment Stand-up” sure is…

If Martin doesn’t want the show to be canceled, he needs to exercise his first amendment rights and tell some jokes his damnself!

Our Spanish language skillz are atrocious, but you don’t need to speak a lick in order to understand the beef between Arcangel and Polaco, thanks to a mic upside the head!

Ay Caramba!

Amy Winehouse keeps bringing the goods. At the 2 minute mark, she calls Kanye West the c word:

Straight gangsta! Amy Winehouse needs to keep on touring and bringing the hits. This my friends, is true entertainment. Ain’t no party like a crackhead party!

Another day, another singer gone wild.

Amy Winehouse threw an elbowsmash at a fan during her set at the Glastonbury music festival. Being a perfectionist, Amy wasn’t comfortable with the damage inflicted, so she added a cracktastic punch:

I hope the fan went to the doctor after the violent attack. Who knows what kind of disease she might have caught from Amy Winehouse’s crack attack!

Tim McGraw learned the hard way about how ‘fans’ can be.

Last year, one stole his ring. A month later, another groped him in front of wifey Faith Hill.

This time around, Tim McGraw took matters into his own hands: